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Asking a guy out is rarely a simple feat. However, it also doesn’t have to be a huge challenge. If you’re the one that’s going to ask him out, there are definitely some things that you will want to know how to ask a guy out on a date. Take the time to learn the ropes and figure out how to have the best chances of getting a yes when you pop the question, so to speak.
This isn’t the 1950’s. People are circumventing traditional gender roles and expectations. Now, women are asking men out if they feel like it, and vice versa. If you’re looking to become more confident so that you can do this, there are a lot of great tips to help.
You could simply open with “want to go out?” and see how he responds, but usually, it’s better to start a conversation and get his attention by doing something a little different. It’s different for everyone, but here’s what you need to know about boosting your confidence and your success rate when it comes to asking guys out.
He’s already going to be interested based on the sheer fact that you took the time to make the first move and pursue him. Don’t just throw yourself at him and hope for the best. Get his attention and make him interested in the chance of pursuing you. Make yourself available and give him a reason to talk to you. Then, you’ll have the “in” that you need to ask him on a date.
If you just start asking guys out when they know nothing about you, they’ll have no incentive or reason to want to get to know you. Sure, you could be fantastic, but you could also be just another woman—you aren’t taking the time to tell them which you are, so they’ll assume the latter. Instead, show them what you’re about and what you want from this date or arrangement so there are no questions.
If you share mutual interests, such as a love for the same sports team or even the joys of single parenting, take that into account when making conversation. It gives you a chance to connect with them on the surface, at the very least, which increases the likelihood that he will say yes when you get around to asking him out. Don’t lie about being into the same things, of course, and don’t only focus on the mutual interests. Just use those as an icebreaker and to help you get a better idea of where he stands.
Guys are notorious for using cheesy pickup lines to try to get women. Some do it sincerely and don’t realize how ridiculous they sound. Turn the tables with this one and use the cheesiest pickup lines that you can find. It’s fun to fool him a little and then show him how silly these lines sound. Plus, it can be a fun way to break the ice and give you something to discuss right off the bat.
No one likes people who aren’t confident and secure in themselves. You don’t have to be the most confident person in the room, of course, but you shouldn’t appear desperate or in need of constant reassurance. Guys like girls who are strong, are more concerned about their own interests in dating, and who don’t “need” a ma to take care of them.
When you ask a guy out, it already shows them that you’re more confident than most. After all, guys have traditionally been the ones doing the asking. Take that confidence a step further and focus on whether you will have a good time and enjoy his company, and not what he thinks of you. [Read: How to Make the First Move on a Guy?]
Dating is awkward. Making conversation can be a challenge. And yet, we keep doing it. Sometimes, mistakes happen. Perhaps you trip on your words and say something ridiculously incorrect. Maybe you accidentally called him the wrong name in your message. In any case, play it up and exaggerate the awkwardness. If he enjoys your turning it into a funny moment, he’s probably a great choice for a date and will likely agree if asked.
Everyone loves a personal touch. In this day and age, what’s better than someone taking the time to leave you a creative little note? Even if you only send it via text, you’re still going out of your way to get in touch and let him know that you’re interested. Perhaps you’re interested in someone that you see on a regular basis—pass them old-fashioned paper notes if you really want to catch their eye.
Why not skip the ask and put yourself out there to be the one who is asked out? When you are trying to get a guy to go on a date, it’s sometimes as easy as mentioning that you have plans. Perhaps you’re attending a sporting event or concert and “have an extra ticket” or you were supposed to check out this new brunch spot but your friend bailed… you can come up with a lot of creative ways to invite him along with a low-pressure ask. [Read: How to Have an Open Marriage]
This is a surefire way to get a covert ask-out from him if you don’t want to outright ask him on a date. Consider mentioning that you are hungry, or that you’re interested in the next movie coming out, and see if he asks if you’d like to engage in either of these activities together. If it leads to conversation and you still have to ask him, that’s okay because it got you in the door and got you well on the way to success.
These tips will help you ensure that you can ask guys out and get the dates that you want, no matter what you have in mind.