Looking for dating advice for men? You’ve come to the right place.
Unfortunately, just like social skills are rarely taught at school, neither are dating skills. Think of it the way you do presentation skills—no matter your personality, you aren’t going to be a hit unless you learn how to present something nicely. Likewise, you can be a great person but unless you can communicate it, people won’t be able to see it. Simple people skills are necessary in everything we do—people feel different about you if you look them in the eye and say please and thank you than they do when you look away grunting irritated replies.
Many great men don’t have the dating success they would if only they picked up a book on dating advice for men. While the topic of dating is broad and there is a ton to learn—from basic people skills and dating skills to relationship skills—this article covers some of the more important online dating tips for men available today.
1. Create an Online Dating Profile That Sells
Here are the key do’s and don’ts of a great online dating profile:
- Include good quality photos—incl. one close up of your face, one full body image, and a couple of images showing you doing things you enjoy, be that skiing, BBQing with friends, or playing chess with someone
- Avoid bathroom selfies (ego, much?) and too many selfies at large
- Avoid photos that don’t have you in them
- Include a great and fun bio (it only needs to be a couple of sentences long, but people want to know who they are about to date, or they won’t waste their time)
- Avoid cliché statements (I love staying in but also love going out on a Friday night)
- Avoid negative statements (I don’t want a dishonest partner. Rather: I want an honest partner)
2. Fill Your Diary
Nobody wants to date a person who doesn’t have a life. Plus, if you have nothing to do, chances are you’ll sit around waiting for texts and appear desperate. What’s more, you might pick the wrong person to date and get attached way too early simply because there’s nothing else to look forward to in your life.
Diary looking empty? Consider filling it with classes, workshops, gym time, book circles, volunteering, hikes, meetup group events, InterNations events, speeches, etc. Consider what your goals are and what you truly enjoy doing and take it from there.
3. Text Manners
After a date, text within 24-hours. Sooner if you truly feel the chemistry.
If you’re doing texting throughout the day, don’t reply immediately to every text. Take your time to answer—you have a life to live. Your work, your friends, just about everything in your life is more important than someone you just started seeing. Don’t mess with those things because you’re on a “high” having just met someone. Also, you’ll seem desperate if you reply immediately to everything. [Read: 1 Tips for Breaking Up with Your Boyfriend]
If, on the other hand, you sit down and the two of you start a proper text “conversation” then let them know before moving onto doing something else. Leaving mid-conversation is rude.
4. Show a Genuine Interest
When out on a date, show genuine interest in your date. Ask them, not just about their day, but their interests, their memories, fun experiences, dreams, goals, and so forth. Likewise, when texting, ask about the juicy stuff. “How are you?” and “How was your day?” are two of the most boring questions out there.
Need ideas? Here you go:
- What’s a favorite childhood memory of yours?
- Who was your childhood hero?
- Who are your role models?
- What are ten things you’d like to do in this lifetime?
- What’s one thing you regret doing?
- Do you find it easy to apologize?
- What makes you feel safe?
- What kind of dates do you enjoy most? Do you like standard “dinner and a movie” dates, or something else?
- What makes you smile?
- What job would you like ten years from now?
- If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
- What are three songs you love?
If you are speaking in real life, apply active listening. When she speaks, don’t interrupt. Don’t think about other things. Just listen. Then ask about what she just said—clarify that you understood her right, or ask a follow-on question where applicable. Google “active listening” for more tips about truly hearing what someone’s saying.
5. Remember the Small Stuff
When someone shares something with you, remember it. Work their preferences into dates, gifts, and topics of conversation. People appreciate that you remember.
6. Figure Out If You’re a Match on ALL Levels
Sometimes when we meet people we get over excited. Before you commit to someone or lead them on, consider if you are:
- A spiritual match
- An emotional match
- A physical match (you like their looks and body)
- A sexual match (you like the same things in bed)
- An intellectual match
When we first meet someone we often fall for one part of them and that’s what makes us giddy with attraction. Consider all parts before you get led astray.
7. Be Upfront
Whether you’re looking for casual dating, or marriage, say so. No, you don’t know if you want to marry someone on the first date, but you do know that you aren’t interested in a three-month fling.
Likewise, if you want to stay in Dallas and they have dreams of conquering the world, tell them the truth. There’s no point beating around the bush. [Read: Challenges of Dating a Divorced Man]
8. Ask for What She Wants
Often we make assumptions to our own detriment. Ask a woman what she wants. What dates does she like? What is she looking for in a relationship? How would she like to deal with conflict? What’s important to her in life? What’s important to her when considering where to live? What’s important to her when going on vacation? Does she think that couples should spend all their time together? Does she value having her own life outside a relationship? What’s her view on polyamorous and monogamous relationships?
9. Compliment All of Her
It’s the best dating tip for men and easy to say you find someone sexy, but what about her kindness? The way she looks when she smiles? The way she treats old ladies? The way she handles annoying waitresses? The way she gets up whenever she’s fallen? She wants to know you are attracted to all of her, not just a part of her. And chances are she doesn’t see herself the way you do, so compliment everything you like and don’t just give overarching compliments, like “I like you.” Those are good, too, but you need more. [Read: How to Flirt with a Girl Over Text or Face to Face]
10. Positive Reinforcement
After a while the way she always leaves the toothpaste tub open, or always forgets to do her dishes, gets annoying. You will want to nag her. Or complain. Or shake some sense into her. But the better way is to say it straight—explain what you want and why it’s important to you. Then, when she gets it right, compliment her. “Honey, you remembered the toothpaste—I love you for it. I know it’s silly, but it made my morning that you cared enough not to leave the tub open.” Then kiss her. Chances are she’ll remember that a lot better than the reprimands.
11. Emotions Before Sex
If you are having a disagreement, or she’s upset about something, or you’re the one who forgot to do the dishes ten times in a row, chances are she won’t want to have sex with you. When a woman feels loved, respected, attractive, cared for, and appreciated, she wants sex. That means, the more you compliment her and show her respect and care for her, the more she’ll want to have sex with you. [Read: Dating After Divorce: 10 Rules for How to Find Love Again]
12. Bedroom Manners
When having sex, tell her whenever she does something you enjoy. Also make sure she knows how attractive you find her. The more appreciated she feels, the more she’ll open up to you in the bedroom.
Also, be sure to explain what you enjoy in the bedroom and what you’d like to experience with her. Otherwise, she’s operating in the dark. Find out what she wants and what her boundaries are, as well. Likewise, share your boundaries.
13. Learn the Five Love Languages
We all need to be loved differently. Yeah, it’s true.
According to Gary Chapman, we have five love languages:
- Words of affirmation
- Acts of service
- Quality time
- Physical touch
If she feels loved when receiving gifts and you shower her in praise, but don’t give her gifts, she won’t feel all that loved. You both need to understand and speak each other’s love languages.
14. Don’t Ghost
Seriously. If you’ve been on more than one date and feel there’s no connection, say so. If you just want to be friends, say so. And if you’ve been dating for a while and feel things aren’t going right, then say so face-to-face. [Read: How to Get Laid on Hookup Apps]
15. Share the Troubles
If there is a problem, share it. Calmly. Without blame. Without anger. Share that you perceive something as a problem. You can share that you feel hurt and therefore angry, but don’t throw those emotions in their face. It’s your emotions. You have to take responsibility for them—and the fact that the person whom you are dating may very well not have intended for you to feel that way. You need to know that the person you are dating are acting from their beliefs and learned behavior—chances are their actions have little to do with you.