How to Get the Conversation Going on a First Date

conversation going
  • SerialDaters
  • May 15, 2023

First date conversation starters are great to have memorized before a date! Especially if you tend to get tongue tied.

Dating conversation topics don’t have to be tricky—you want topics that are fun and engaging, as well as deep and revealing. You also want to avoid certain topics—leading with politics and religion, for example isn’t a smash hit.

Things To Talk About on a First Date

There really is no rule for this beyond keeping it fun and engaging and avoiding politics and religion (or at the very least, waiting till the second half of the date). As research suggests that deep and interesting questions can lead to couples falling in love, you will also want to increase the depth of the conversation as you go along.

Make It Engaging

Here are some fun questions that will get the conversation started.

“I can see you’re a powerhouse of a woman/man. If you could add another superpower to your arsenal, what would it be?”

“So tell me, are you a pancakes for breakfast on a Sunday kind of person? Or do you prefer mimosas and brunch some place fancy? Or perhaps a green smoothie and a run in the park?”

“Your strike me as a Porsche kind of person, am I anywhere near right?”

“What are at least three things in life you truly want to experience?”

“Now, before we order, tell me—have you ever escaped out the back door to avoid a date? I mean before I get my hopes up I need to know you won’t disappear like Cinderella.”

“Gosh, look at ‘em muscles. You must be a gym person? Me, I’m more of a dance around the living room while pretending to clean kind of girl.”

“What’s the quirkiest dream you’ve ever had?”

“If you could dream of anything at night, what would you choose?”

“What are the three books and movies you think everyone absolutely have to read or watch?”

“What kind of movie or book do you think I’d enjoy? The little you know of me so far…”

“Are you the kind of person who thinks that one day you’ll write a book? Or does the thought send you reeling?”

“Are you a creative person? I mean do you do anything creative that you enjoy?”

“What was your favorite topic in school? Or where you skipping school with the cool kids, hating every moment of class?”

“What was your favorite movie growing up? Are you a secret Care Bears or Batman fan?”

“You a great cook?” [insert response in the positive] ”Yeah?! What’s your favorite recipe? Any chance I’ll get a copy, or must I perform some heroic deed first?”

“What’s one restaurant in this town that I absolutely must to try?”

“Now, let’s get to the vitals. Are you good at picking out presents for birthdays and anniversaries and the likes? I’d need to know this before I get too attached. I mean, I can’t have someone buying me socks for my birthday.”

“What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”

“If you could have a dinner party with ten or fifteen guests, dead or alive, who would you invite?”

“What band would you invite to do a private concert for you if you could choose anyone?”

“Is there any movie or book you’re always quoting from?”

“What’s one song that they play over and over again on the radio that you detest?”

“What makes you smile as you go about your day on a regular day?”

“What’s one country you’d love to visit where you haven’t been so far?”

“If you could jump into the plot of any movie or series, which one would it be?”

“You seem like an adventurous sort, so if we could be anywhere right now, doing anything, what would it be?” (You may save this till later in the date, when you’ve established there’s a connection.”

The above are all great first date conversation starters, but use your judgement when it comes to which ones to use first. You want to start things off on a lighthearted note. [Read: Interesting and Funny First Message Examples ]

Hopefully, the above questions will naturally lead to other topics of conversation. Remember to truly listen to your dates responses—hold off on planning what you’re going to say next till they’re done speaking. And try to repeat certain things back to them to ensure you understood them correctly. Lastly, don’t be afraid to ask follow-on questions—it will show that you are interested in finding out more.

Below you’ll find some deeper questions. Don’t save them all till the end of the date—weave them in as you go along.

Deep

conversation going

There’s research that suggests that asking questions that slowly gets deeper and thereby establishing a connection, can help two strangers fall in love. So, below you’ll find some questions that go a little bit deeper. Just be sure that you check in with your date—if any question makes them uncomfortable, take a step back and speak about more lighthearted things. Or if you see massive discomfort, say that of course they don’t have to answer if they don’t feel like it and change the topic of conversation. [Read: 15 Flirting Tips Every Guy Needs To Know]

“If there’s one thing you could go back in time to do again OR do differently, what would it be?”

“Is there any book or movie heroine/hero you grew up admiring?”

“What’s one thing you never expected from adulthood?”

“If there’s one thing you could change in the world, what would it be?”

“Tell me, do you consider yourself a brave person?”

“What’s one thing you’ve done that you’re truly proud of?”

“What are the things that make you feel appreciated? I mean how do you know when someone truly appreciates you?”

“What do you think are the elements of a great relationship?”

“Do you believe in love at first sight?”

“If you could have a second profession, what would it be?”

“What do you think it is that attracts people to one another?”

“Do you think you’re good at forgiveness?”

“Are you the kind of person who likes to be straightforward and communicate everything, or do you find it hard to express stuff?”

“Have you ever watched a movie and thought, “Yeah, that’s my life?”

“Did you have any teacher in school who truly inspired you?”

“What’s one challenge you’ve overcome that you are really happy about having overcome?”

“What’s the best mistake you ever made—one that truly taught you a great lesson?”

First Date Topics To Talk About

There are some things you want to cover. Namely, what they are looking for when dating. Are they after a casual relationship, or something more serious? Are they monogamous or polyamorous? There’s no point going on a second date if they right now want to get married, have ten kids and move to Alabama if you want to live in NYC and have a maximum two kids—in five years time. [Read: How to Flirt with a Girl Over Text or Face to Face]

Likewise, if you plan to jump in bed with them right away, you may want to ask about their sexual history/if they think a sexual health checkup is something that should be done before sex. However, if you don’t plan to get intimate with them that night—wait. It’s not a topic everyone is comfortable with. Especially not that early on if they’re looking for a serious relationship.

These are things that you should bring up in the second half of the date. Get to know each other first. And see if there’s chemistry. If not, there’s no need ask these questions in the first place.